We're like a lot better than the average bears
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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