So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
