Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
