My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
