Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
