margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize