why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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