I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
