my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
