how can u be prego again
zippers are such a cool invention
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
