hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I showed him my bush... on skype.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
