I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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