Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
