Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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