help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he thought i was a dude.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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