thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
