Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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