it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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