Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
