i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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