this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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