The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
