Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her vagine was all disorganized.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
