PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize