you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
