Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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