How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
