Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
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