No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
