yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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