So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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