naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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