Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize