Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it because I queefed?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
