If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
