I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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