i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
