Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
