he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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