Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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