PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
