Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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