My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
