Michael Bay diarrhea
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
