So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
