He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have aggressive nipples.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
