i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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