How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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