I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
