too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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