Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
