God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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