Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
