it hurts more in the daytime
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
