Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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