It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize