im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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