My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
