I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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