Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
