You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize