I'm drive I can fine osifer
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize