we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so let's talk penis.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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