my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
