I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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