I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
MIDGETS
????
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
