You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
